Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldberg’s Lifetime Achievement Award: “She’s Not a Good Person”

Keanu Reeves is a person of the nicest, most real folks in Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg, on the other hand, was not too long ago voted “most hated person” in Tinsel City, a distinction nobody would seem to be able to refute.

Reeves was chosen to current this year’s Life span Accomplishment award by the Tv set Manufacturing Committee, a job he was honored to acquire on…until he listened to that he’d have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.

“She’s not a wonderful human being,” stated Reeves in a voice that virtually sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, “I do not want to be remembered as the man who produced that oversight.”

Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. They’re even now waiting to listen to back again from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need anything various to take place in their lives, but nobody appears to be in a position to uncover them.

“We believe that all those two are almost certainly in a ravine somewhere right after dropping their social media subsequent to the worst apology video clip ever recorded,” explained Ravine Captain Joe Barron of the 136th Marine Paralegal Unit, “We’re just gonna start out listed here in LA and go from ravine to ravine until eventually we discover them.”

Others believe that they might also be in a shallower issue, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are probably lifeless from humiliation, becoming a member of their occupations. Topher Grace was unavailable for remark, as soon as again leaving his dignity intact.

Reeves claimed there is no way he’ll improve his mind, no subject how dumb the tale gets. God Bless America.